Có lần, tôi đang nói chuyện với một đám đông trong hiệu sách, có người đặt một câu hỏi rất thú vị: «Ông sẽ miêu tả một con người bình thường như thế nào với chỉ trong vài ba từ?» Sau một chút suy nghĩ, tôi trả lời: «Dễ bực dọc.» Cả phòng bật cười vang, vì mọi người đều nhận biết là tôi đã chỉ ra được một sự thật gần như phổ biến – hầu hết mọi người trong chúng ta có thể trở nên bực dọc bởi gần như là mọi chuyện.

Hiệu quả của việc giảm bớt sự bực dọc là vô cùng to lớn. Mức độ căng thẳng của bạn sẽ giảm đi. Bạn sẽ dễ dàng hơn trong việc chấp nhận những con người và sự kiện trong cuộc sống. Bạn có nhiều niềm vui hơn, quan tâm đến người khác hơn cũng như tự mình trở nên lôi cuốn sự quan tâm của mọi người. Bạn sẽ là một khuôn mẫu tốt hơn cho gia đình và bè bạn. Bạn sẽ giảm bớt những phản ứng quá khích. Bạn sẽ thấy cuộc sống dần dần không còn là một gánh nặng, mà trở nên lôi cuốn như một cuộc phiêu lưu. Bạn sẽ giảm bớt sự bực tức và cáu gắt. Bạn sẽ chuyển đổi được cuộc sống bình thường thành những kinh nghiệm tuyệt vời. Thực tế là, sự bực dọc chẳng phải vui vẻ gì. Nó là sự hủy hoại to lớn đối với phẩm chất tốt đẹp của cuộc sống và là cách bộc lộ cơ bản nhất của việc hay cáu gắt vì những chuyện vặt. Nó thật sự là một điểm chán ngấy đối với mọi người khác.

Phương pháp để giảm bớt đi sự bực dọc là đặt việc này lên thành một ưu tiên. Hãy theo dõi các phản ứng của bạn trong cuộc sống. Lưu ý việc bạn có thể đã bực dọc đến như thế nào, phản ứng thái quá với sự việc và mọi

người chung quanh ra sao. Khi bạn đã làm được như vậy, hãy tự cam kết với mình là sẽ giảm bớt sự bực dọc, đặc biệt là vì những chuyện nhỏ nhặt.

Trong sinh hoạt mỗi ngày, chú ý xem bạn có thể nào bắt gặp chính mình trong những lúc cáu gắt hoặc bực dọc. Hãy xem đây như một trò chơi. Khi chợt nhận ra mình đang bực dọc chỉ vì một chuyện nhỏ nhặt nào đó, tự nhủ mình một câu đại loại như: «Ái chà, lại mắc phải rồi đây.» Và cũng đừng xem đó là quan trọng. Rồi bạn sẽ nhận ra là hầu hết các phản ứng thái quá của bạn thường là không cố ý, nghĩa là đôi khi bạn cũng không tự nhận biết mình đã trở nên cáu gắt như thế nào. Bằng cách tỉnh táo chú ý vào mọi suy nghĩ và phản ứng của mình, bạn sẽ làm cho mọi việc trở nên rõ ràng và điều đó giúp bạn có khả năng tạo ra sự thay đổi.

Hầu hết những phản ứng của chúng ta trong cuộc sống không gì khác hơn là những thói quen, những hành vi tập nhiễm. Nếu chúng ta rèn tập tính khe khắt, cáu gắt, chúng ta ta sẽ trở nên một con người đúng như thế. Tuy nhiên, điều ngược lại cũng là sự thật. Nếu bạn có thể kết hợp một chút khiêm tốn với khả năng biết tự xét những hành động của mình, và có một quyết tâm chuyển đổi, chắc chắn bạn sẽ có khả năng làm được điều đó. Tôi đã từng biết là có rất nhiều người (trong đó có cả tôi) trước đây rất khắt khe và dễ cáu, nhưng giờ đây lại khá dễ dãi và làm việc có hiệu quả hơn.

Hãy thử một lần xem. Nhờ vào việc giảm bớt sự quá khích và căng thẳng, bạn sẽ trở nên một người hạnh phúc hơn, và cũng có nhiều niềm

vui hơn. Và thêm một điều này nữa: tất cả những người có quan hệ mật thiết với bạn đều sẽ nhận ra và đánh giá cao sự thay đổi tích cực này.


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